So I have so many things to process and write about that I don't even know where start.  Culture of Honor is a huge deal here.  Danny Silk even wrote a book about it (highly recommend!).  So I have read the book and I really liked it but it's way different when you experience it.  Remember when Tom came back from Bethel a few weeks ago, and said that the way they view and enact 'grace' here is something he can't even share on Sunday because it would offend people.  Well, I experienced that grace first hand.  I'll spare you the details, but I have a friend who lives here who has gone through all three years of School of Supernatural Ministry, and I have really hurt her over the past couple years by the way I have been living my life.  When I realized I was sinning and realized how much what I had done hurt her I was really sad and heartbroken that I had done that to her.  I knew in my heart that I had made a mess and hurt her, and I wanted to make things right with her by acknowledging to her what I had done, that I could see how it affected her, and that I was heartbroken that I did that and I don't want to do it again. I set up a coffee date wit her to hang out, and my secret plan was to ask her for forgiveness.  She had no idea what my plan was.  She thought we were just hanging out.


So I have to be honest, I was really nervous about this.  I thought she would totally not want to be around me and I was preparing myself to face the consequences of my actions.  I was about to be really vulnerable about my mistakes and sins against her, and I was a little scared of what she would do with that information.  I was preparing to get hurt.


Two days before this scheduled meeting, I actually saw her at local event where a lot of Bethel students were hanging out.  She came over to me and chatted with me, and treated me like a normal person.  Whoa!  I was so blown away.  That totally relieved my fears about dropping this bomb when we go hang out at Starbucks in two days.


So two days later is finally the day, I was so nervous but based on the prior meeting I was able to relieve my fear a little bit.  We chatted about so many things it was so delightful.  It was like chatting with another dreamer who is going hard after God and the things of God (which is who we both really are).  It felt so good.  She treated me like I meant something, like nothing bad had ever happened, eventhough we both knew that it did.  Then I shifted gears and brought it up.  I acknowledged all the things that I had done that hurt her, and let her know that I was disgusted with what I did, that it is not the real me, and that I am heartbroken that I did that to her.


I asked her for forgiveness.


She was so delighted that I brought this up and had recognized everything.  She explained her experience and how it really had hurt her, and she told me that she is proud of me for recognizing all of it.  She was so happy to forgive me and show me grace.  She told me that she wants me to be free, and be who I really am, (which is by the way, not a sinner, but a saint and a royal priest!).  This floored me.  I saw this culture of honor that I have read about actually happen to me right then and there.  It was liberating for both of us, and it definitely restored the standard to live like a royal priest again.  She really got this culture of honor and grace thing, and she didn't administer it by talking about it, but rather living it.


The thing about supernatural, Jesus-like grace is that it allows lots and lots of messes.  LOTS of messes.  Haha.  Someone here said the deeper the hole someone digs in this culture, the more gold they will find.  Read Luke 7:37-50.  It's the story of an "especially wicked sinner" who was an outcast to society that came to pour out her worship on Jesus, and she was forgiven by Jesus. The man whose house this happened at disagreed with this because he had some religious thing in him saying that it was inappropriate and wrong.  So often the people who make the biggest messes are outcast.  Not forgiven.  Not accepted.  But Jesus says this,

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, many [as they are], are forgiven her--because she has loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little.
48And He said to her, Your sins are forgiven!
49Then those who were at table with Him began to say among themselves, Who is this Who even forgives sins?
50But Jesus said to the woman, Your faith has saved you; go (enter) into peace [in freedom from all the distresses that are experienced as the result of sin]. -Amplified

Wow! Wow! Wow! When someone hurts us, we have the power to free them from prisons.  When we hurt someone we have the opportunity to experience a greater revelation of Love.  He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  There is no 'plan B' with God.  He just takes every mistake and ugly thing and turns it into a jewel in your crown.  The more you are forgiven, the more love you will have to pour out.  


It really is an inside, outside, upside-down kingdom.  We need to get this if we want heaven to invade earth.  There is no religion in heaven.  There is limitless Grace and Love.  

  

I wanna be with You
where You are
You're the Servant of all

I'm in love with a King
who became a slave
And I'm love with a God
who is humble
And you gotta go down
if you wanna go up
And you've got to go lower
if you want to go higher and higher
And you've got to hide and do it in secret
if you wanna be seen by God

Cos' it's the inside, outside, upside down kingdom
where you lose to gain and you die to live

I wanna be Your lover
so show me how to go how to go lower
For in the depths I will find You
where You're serving my brothers

-Misty Edwards

Today was my first day of class at the Bethel School of Worship.  We started the day with, well, live worship music!  It was an amazing time of extended worship.  It felt like we were pressing in for God to breakthrough, and the leaders kept singing spontaneous prophetic song after song.  It was amazing and by the end if felt like we finally broke through something in the atmosphere.  We were jumping and dancing and singing "I'm not ashamed to act this way, because you will be praised!"  It felt like we were singing and dancing with the angels in worship.  One of the key things I learned today is if you want heaven to come to earth, create an atmosphere that is like heaven....and that is what we did this morning!

One of the reasons I came to Bethel was the sense of community and "down-to- earth"ness of this place.  While Bethel is becoming more widely known throughout the world, and Bethel music production is taking off, these people are totally real and human to me.  They remember where they came from. They have hobbies like hunting and shoe collecting.  Brian spoke about living a supernatural lifestyle, which is super   natural.  We are naturally doing life, and our life is worship.  It is a lifestyle of communing with God, and communing with each other.  We are family.  This is the type of culture that I want to cultivate at 2RC.  We are in a season of hiddenness (personally and as a church) and we need to appreciate these times because one day that might change.  Because if we don't learn how to strengthen ourselves in the Lord now, in the hidden season, we will not last long in coming seasons.  (1 Sam 30:6... also see Bill Johnson's Strengthening Yourself in the Lord).


The other major lesson I learned today was to refuse to be intimidated.  Let's be honest, I am surrounded by amazing people who are much more skilled that I am and know a lot more than me, but the truth is, there is no one who can love God like I do.  I am an original.  There is no one like me, and I was made to create a sound that no one else can make.  And just so you know, these claims are for you to make as well because it is true about every single person on earth!  Each person has a song in their DNA and there is a sound missing when you simply act as a copy!

I have definitely learned a ton and been stretched in many good ways today from jumping/dancing to voice lessons, and I am excited to be molded and stretched in new ways tomorrow!